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Points League: Smokin Todd Frazier
"Son of a female dog," exclaimed Tim Lincecum as he reached into his pocket. "What? We're out of weed," asked Ron Washington in a rather concerned voice. "No man. We're never out of weed," replied Tim...
View ArticleThe YardBYRD Sings for Your Love and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 12
What is not to love about Marlon Byrd? He is one of twenty-one hitters who have 49 homeruns over the past two seasons, and is on pace this year to hit over 20 bombs again. He has been on the DL since...
View ArticleDraftKings: Go Ahead, Try It…Everybody’s Doing It
I remember back to the heydays of the public service announcement that would grace the network telecasts of things like baseball games. (Sidenote: Apparently I also remember back to the days when folks...
View ArticleRosario Awesome and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 13
I love me a hot schmotato almost as much as I love me a hot Latina. [Jay's Note: I prefer the angry Latina.] Yes, it is true, I love Latin women more than fantasy baseball, except this week, when I...
View ArticleJuan of a Kind and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 14
You can think whatever you want about Juan Uribe. I don't care what anyone thinks, he is one of the most unique players in baseball. A classic character from yesteryear. He has to be a latin 50. Have...
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Disgraces and Delights, Week 14: Sano Emerges as Great White During Shark Week
Sky: "Beddict, what's up broseph? Want to manscape each other and hit the Oregon coast for the week? My wife's finally allowing me hang out with you again after the Playboy mansion incident." Beddict:...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters for the Second Half of 2015
Hey look, it's all-star week. Wonderful... stupendous... greaaaaat *said in sarcastic monotone voice* Real baseball? Blah! Give me games so I can play my game. I can't even go to Draftkings... or can...
View ArticleA COG(hlan) in the Fantasy Machine and Top 100 Hitters, Week 16
I sat down Friday night and started watching Shark Tank for the first time. Wow, have I been missing out on a beautiful reality show. No B.S., I have been binge watching it all weekend. I know, I know,...
View ArticleTop 100 Hitters, Week 17: Vacation Mandate
I went out on my annual mid-season man-date with Grey this past Friday. What a day! Sandwiches at the wine shop, facial hair products at the beauty supply store, and coffee at some weird fancy...
View ArticleStoren Owners Pop A Vein
Jonathan Papelbon has a contract that insures that he remains the closer if he's traded. He would likely be the closer in Washington even without that stipulation, but it's so like Papelbon to have...
View ArticleCole Meets Oil
Yesterday, Latos was traded to the Dodgers, then not traded. Then CarGo was traded to the Mets, then not traded. Then Cole Hamels was traded to the Rangers, and really traded, I think. I don't know,...
View ArticleDraftkings: Stunting with J-Fer and Thor
BOOM!!! CRASH!!! BAM!!!! BANG!!!! ONOMATOPOEIA! ONOMATOPOEIA!!! (Click Here) <----What the hell is going on? Not sure but I think we're walking into a super-hero reference involving Noah...
View ArticleThere is No Shame Riding this Scooter and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 18
I have returned from my much needed and financially reasonable vacation. I went to San Diego for five days and four nights with the family, and enjoyed almost every damn second of it. I learned one...
View ArticleWeezie Severino Is Moving On Up
Luis Severino will be called up to face the Red Sox on Wednesday and presumably will stay in the rotation for the busted, no-candy-giving Pineda. I say presumably, because can we really be sure about...
View ArticleOPS Leagues: Unlimited Teix Messaging
Good gravy, let’s talk about two recent power surges. Duda Where’s My Car and He’s on the Mark, Teixeira. Lucas Duda and the Teixecutioner have been absolutely bananas over the past week. Duda has...
View ArticleThe Brown Recluse Creeps Us Out and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 19
I still can't believe I chose this schlub to be the creeper of the week. What am I thinking? OR maybe, what am I smoking *takes another hit* to conclude that this disappointment can be a creeper? Tehol...
View ArticleHisashi Super Dry And Unhittable
Hishashi my dashi -- slurp SLURP! Yesterday, Hisashi Iwakuma threw the AL's first no-hitter since 2012, a span of three years (nice math skills, Grey stache!) This wasn't an easy, rollover and let me...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 20: Mostly Pain, Some Gain
The Poet Laureate Alfred, Lord Tennyson once said — among other things — "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Clearly Tennyson never played fantasy baseball. Other than...
View ArticleCreepers in the Park and the Top 100 Hitters, Week 20
A few weeks back, I was on vacation and the Big Magoo covered the creeper. He did one hell of a job by making good calls and changing up the format. This week, I'm feeling inspired by the Big Magoo and...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 21: To Hellickson And Back
I must say, I don't believe in curses, hexes, jinxes or whatever you may call it, but this season is rapidly descending into a Euripides level of despair for me. As I look at my various rosters being...
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