Natties Don’t Go Light On The Brew
The fans that arrived early yesterday at Nationals Park were puzzled to find what appeared to be a show on HGTV. The newest Property Brother, Michael Blazek, the Brewers pitcher, opened a box from...
View ArticleChef Tanaka
I was craving sashimi last night, so I sauntered to my local sushi joint. When I walked through the door, I heard the familiar, "Irrashaimase maido," from the chefs behind the counter. As I nodded my...
View ArticleYu See LA Brewin’ Something Big?
Baseball's parity is better than any other sport. You can go into the season like, say, the Rockies. No chance at all of the playoffs with no closer, no pitching, an injured offseason acquisition and...
View ArticleAmbulance Chasers, Week 18: Hurts Like A Mitch
The injury bug bit HARD this week. Every player on this list is a player whose absence will have huge fantasy implications. The playoffs are right around the corner and the smartest owners will be able...
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Go To Buy With One Eye Open With Winker
Here's a picture of Reds' outfielder, Jesse Winker: The first thing people notice about him is he looks drunk and half-Asian. He was throwing back soju and partying in an 8x10 room with three other...
View ArticleWood You Mind Not Being So Ruff? … And The Top 100 Starters, Week 19
It's just like old times, as we here at Razzball are profiling a Brewers starter this week. I can't put my finger on what that means, but I digress. The familiarity doesn't just end there my friends,...
View ArticleGiolito: The Taste Of Gio With Less Filling Stats
Yesterday, Lucas Giolito went 6 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks as he was called up to take Reynaldo's rotation spot. The shine, as they say at the complaint desk for a shoeshine man, has come off...
View ArticleIndians’ Ram Goes Native Slamerican And Legs vs. Yanks
Did you hear about the Native American who wouldn't leave the bathroom? He said home was where the TP was. Hey, this Drunk Uncle Jokebook isn't that bad! August has been miserable for Jose Ramirez...
View ArticleA Fish Called Miranda
Ariel Miranda pitched a no-hitter yesterday through six innings and 112 pitches that had to be the worst six-inning no-hitter in baseball history. Shame the M's removed him before he gave up a hit,...
View ArticleGood Luck Storming The Castillo In 2018 Drafts
Watching Luis Castillo is officially an ASMR trigger. *insert onomatopoeia of satisfied exhale, picks up invisible fork and knife, mimes cutting up satisfied exhale, eats exhale* Do you see how...
View ArticleThe Bader The Harrison, The Sweeter The Buyin’, Son
When you were a kid, did you ever receive a formal invitation and it was addressed like this, "Master Albright?" Okay, now think about Harrison Bader getting a formal invite. I'm dead. That legit...
View ArticleAbreu Taking Irma Frustrations Out On San Fran
There's a common term sociologists use called, The Tide of Uze. Everything that encompasses everyday life is on The Tide of Uze. Brushing your teeth, walking your dog, Jose Abreu, they're all on The...
View ArticleFanDuel: Big Maple
"Big Maple" James Paxton takes the mound on Thursday in his second start off the disabled list, facing the Rangers at home. Paxton's first start off of the DL was a disaster, but that's often the case...
View ArticleFanDuel: Cotton up the Rug
I'm tag teaming today's post with FredWord who had to attend a quaint country wedding where wifi doesn't exist. Fred wrote up some pitchers, and I'll fill in the rest. Also of note, this is typically...
View ArticleTop 20 1st Basemen for 2018 Fantasy Baseball
? I have to keep this short, because after the jump is going to be the longest post you've ever seen in your life. How do I know all the posts you've seen to compare this one to? Because I'm sitting...
View ArticleKC Helps Out Royally Screwed Moose
Scott Boras is pushing this "MLB owners are in collusion" narrative, and what better way to push that agenda than have Mike Moustakas turn down a $17.4 million dollar qualifying offer from the Royals...
View ArticleFanDuel: 2018 MLB Opening Day!
Tommy John season is back! Actually it already started a few days ago with the news A.J. Puk would need the famed procedure. Actually it started before that, when we learned David Phelps would need it....
View ArticleFanDuel: The Mossi Slate
I’ll be honest - this is a rather unattractive slate. Hitting wise, it’s not so much an ugly slate - it’s not that everyone is in particularly bad matchups - rather - everyone is in awkward spots,...
View ArticleIndians Have A Party At Lindor’s House
The Indians and Twins set sail for the Caribbean island of Puerto Rico to rid themselves of the cold weather. Puig should really be from there, because white people pronounce each similarly awful....
View ArticleFanDuel: Cuban Missile Crisis
Loyal readers of this blog will know that I am a strong believer in #respecttheleadoff in DFS - the notion that when in doubt, play leadoff hitters as they are guaranteed the most opportunities to...
View ArticleFantasyDraft: Walker, Dodgers Ranger
If you happened to listen to Ignacio during Walker Buehler’s first start you may have rostered him in some DFS contests and done alright for yourself. I paired him with Tanaka that night and along...
View ArticleFanDuel: Picks for May 4th, 2018
May the FanDuel be with you. What were you expecting a Star Wars pun? I'm more of a TV guy, anyway. ANYWAY, we're without day games on this Friday so you'll have all afternoon to research and create...
View ArticleFanDuel: Coors On The Till, Man
Normally in a Coors Field Slate, the first thing you want to do for the bats is look at the two teams playing in Coors. However, today we’ve got the extremely rare scenario where a Coors Field game may...
View ArticleThe Bad Starts Go Quintana And On And On
Yesterday's Cubs/Braves matinee was Jose Quintana (4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.23) vs. Julio Teheran (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 3.49). This start was billed as, "Was The Wind Blowing Out Or...
View ArticleRangers Finally Free Willie
Afters months of anticipation, many speculative adds and drops, the Rangers have finally called up top prospect slash phenom slash future super stud slash tiger beat cover boy of the month Willie...
View ArticleThis Is Our Cahill, And These Are Our Beane’s
Matt Olson, affectionately known as Allahson by people in Middle East Bay, hit his 22nd homer yesterday. An inconsequential home run to the game, but it's a part of a larger tapestry. Khris Davis...
View ArticleI’m Likin’ This, I’m LiKendrys A Lot
Don Mattingly and Ken Griffey Jr. sit in the airport, waiting for their flight out to Toronto, trying to make small talk, "How has post-Hall of Fame life been?" "Good, good, how has post, uh,...
View ArticleC. Yelich Greets Reds With An Anagram
Yesterday, Christian Yelich hit for the cycle, going 6-for-6, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .319. Yelich has been sexier than that random porn that was released of him. Speaking of porn...
View Article2019 Spring Training Position Battles: The AL Central
NL West | NL West | NL Central | NL East || AL West | AL Central | AL East I don’t pay much attention to Spring Training Statistics. You never know who the statistics are coming against....
View ArticlePadres Flashing Their Tatis on Opening Day
Fernando Tatis Jr. made the team. Did not see that one coming. Don't own him anywhere. To which you now say, "Tough Tatis." Wow. I'm stunned. Good for the Padres! This is not good for the Luis...
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